lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
