I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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