I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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