So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
