my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Of course I have a pirate flag
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
