yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
