Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
