tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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