we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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