Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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