why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize