I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
