I just made out with a guy for $7.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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