You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
