Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize