I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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