next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
