Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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