I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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