Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
