We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
