Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
