And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
