Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
