would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
smell my finger.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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