I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
