i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's official drugs can't kill me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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