She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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