I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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