think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
