"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
