I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
