so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
