She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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