just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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