Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
