we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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