What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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