The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
