he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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