i may or may not be watching the land before time
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
