Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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