I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
