i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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