You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
