can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
