How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i believe in u and ur pee
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