I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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