Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
