Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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