So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
