I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
