Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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