Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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