ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
