Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
