Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize