My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I will be naked everywhere
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
