just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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