i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
