I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
