if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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