that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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