I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're too hungover to prance.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
