The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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