Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
