Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
