peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
