: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
