I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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