Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
