I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
