super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
no, he came in my armpit
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
