Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
