I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
