omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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