How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
