ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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