there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
