You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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