She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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