your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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