I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
