If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
