please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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