google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize