How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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