The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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