Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
